What brings you joy?

In the spirit of Thanksgiving week, we have a question to pose. A challenging one at that. But, let's dive in.

What brings you joy?

I find this to be an important question for us to ask ourselves.

First of all, notice I didn’t ask what makes you happy. Happiness is a temporal feeling, and we are designed to experience it along with sadness. Happiness tends to be initiated by an outside event or circumstance. Joy, on the other hand, is triggered by an internal understanding of who you are and what you are feeling in the moment.

When I meet patients for the first time, I ask them what gives them joy and watch their response. Many smile as they recall joyful times, such as spending time with loved ones, working in their yard, cooking, hiking or just relaxing.

But some people struggle to think of any joy to share with me. A disturbing number say that they feel little joy, even though their life is filled with the potential for joy. When I ask why, their faces clouds with frustration. There "just isn't enough time" is a common answer. Often, they don't even know what brings them joy, because they have not stopped long enough to think about the question.

A key difference between those that are joyful versus those that are joyless is the presence of a balance between the ups and downs of life. It's a fact that all the noise and busyness of modern living challenges our daily priorities. So often the hopeful to-do lists we create in the morning are still untouched by day's end, and this creates a sense of hopelessness.

It’s weird because when I thought about the answer to this question for myself, it was hard for me to come up with answers! I struggled with this question for a long time. When I was young, I was too busy studying, working, and trying to make good choices to ever think about joy. I really had to sit, think and reflect to come up with specific things or else I would just generalize with vague answers. After journaling a bit, I realized some of the things that I know for sure bring me joy, I wasn’t doing ENOUGH of them! Unfortunately, I realized they were things I did every once in a while. We all just get so busy with our to-do lists that incorporating things that give us joy and fulfillment on a consistent, regular basis is a challenge. I feel so much more joy when I am just living in the moment and not thinking about the past or the future.

This is another situation where gratitude for all the good in our life comes in. This is timely as it is Thanksgiving week. I know I posted on this in the past, but I can't tell you how important this is. Joy and gratitude can go hand in hand.

It is almost impossible to feel anxious or worry, if you are feeling grateful at the same time.

So my advice for you on how to figure out what gives you joy is to think about what you want to have in your life. Then, how can you go about bringing that picture to life? Once you find that thing, I suggest you go out and do it!

Think of all the things you are grateful for.

Enjoy feeling joyful!